Leave a comment

Sirocco ecstatic at resounding National victory

TRIUMPH: Premier Daniel Anderson and New Zealand Prime Minister John Key pose for a photo after the National Party’s stunning victory last evening.

Bradford, KR, Sep 21 · Hur 6 – Sirocco is still in party mode following the victory of the governing National Party in the New Zealand general elections last evening, with the Federal Party leading the charge to heap praise upon Prime Minister John Key.

National defied political gravity and history to win a third term with an increased vote and seat count, an event that last happened ninety years ago.

The increase in seats under New Zealand’s Mixed Member Proportional (MMP) system means that in a 121-seat Parliament, the party has won a majority of 61 seats – the first time this has happened since MMP was introduced in 1996, and only the second time anywhere in the world.

Political polls have barely moved since National took office in 2008, and despite the best attempts of the Opposition, as well as investigative journalists and fugitives Edward Snowden and Julian Assange, the party shattered all expectations last night to win an unprecedented victory.


ECONOMIC MASTERMIND: Anderson with Minister of Finance Bill English, who has been lauded for his management of the New Zealand economy through the Great Recession.

The Left was routed, with Labour losing two seats and falling to 24.7% of the vote, the Greens dropping to 13 seats and 10.0% of the vote, and Internet Mana disappearing from Parliament following their unsuccessful defence of the Te Tai Tokerau electorate against Labour challenger Kelvin Davis.

Labour’s third consecutive defeat, its worst in nearly a century, has left many faithful dizzy with confusion and sorrow, and already there is talk of a leadership challenge being mounted at party leader David Cunliffe, who, in breaking with party tradition, did not tender his resignation in his concession speech.

Key took the podium at around 11pm to proclaim victory, with the audience of some one to two thousand cheering and chanting.

He thanked the one million voters who cast their ballots for National, and also gave thanks to volunteers and party faithful.

He also specifically thanked the Young Nats, the National Party’s youth wing, for their campaign efforts, which prompted an enormous cheer.

Key promised to continue to provide a “solid, stable government”, and to work for all New Zealanders, regardless of political affiliation.


LOCAL AFFAIRS: Anderson meets with his macronational local MP, Peseta Sam Lotu-Iiga, with whom he has done campaigning in the marginal seat of Maungakiekie.

For Siroccans, the night was one of excitement and glee the likes of which has never been seen before.

As the evening progressed and the vote count grew, an air of excitement built over the country, erupting into wild celebrations at the end of the night when a National victory was confirmed.

Premier Daniel Anderson attended a pre-election function with members of the Young Nats before moving to the Viaduct Events Centre at around 9pm Eastern time for the official party function.

Anderson made no effort to hide his emotions as victory neared, with one attendee noting that it was unusual to see the Premier in such a good mood.

Anderson commented to media in Bradford this afternoon that it was indeed unlike him, but said that the evening was the best he has ever experienced.


FAREWELL: Anderson with outgoing Bay of Plenty MP and Minister of Health Tony Ryall, who has been praised by both sides of the political spectrum for his impact on the health sector.

After Key’s victory speech, he and Anderson met for a brief talk and a photo opportunity, with Anderson offering his congratulations and best wishes for the coming term and the 2017 election.

Key thanked Anderson for his words, and said that he would do his best.

Anderson also met with other MPs during the evening, including Bill English (Minister of Finance, list), Paula Bennett (Minister of Social Development, Upper Harbour), Peseta Sam Lotu-Iiga (Minister of Pacific Island Affairs, Maungakiekie), Maggie Barry (North Shore), Andrew Bayly (Hunua), Alfred Ngaro (list), and Tony Ryall (outgoing Minister of Health, Bay of Plenty).

In Alston, too, the mood was of excitement as the tally count rose, with Alstonians tuning in en masse to watch the result.

Watching the election night coverage is a tradition in both New Zealand and Sirocco, with both nations stopping on election night to wait for the results.

The Federal Party published a poster this afternoon lauding Key and National for their achievements, and inviting Key to “take a bow”.

“New Zealand loves you,” the poster reads, “and Sirocco is beaming from ear to ear. Keep up the outstanding work, and know we’re with you all the way.”

National’s triumph will also put to rest talk of a formal declaration of independence in the event of a Labour victory until at least 2017. While no official position had been made, there was also rumour of a declaration of independence planned for after the 2011 election in the event of a National defeat.

Anderson has mentioned in the past that his government “would consider” seceding from New Zealand should Labour come to power at an election.

All results are at this stage preliminary, with some 256,000 special votes yet to be counted. The final results are expected by the afternoon of Saturday, 4 October (19 Hurricane).

Leave a comment

Sirocco urges Scots to retain Union

BETTER TOGETHER: The Government has urged Scots to vote "no" in today's referendum on Scottish independence.

BETTER TOGETHER: The Government has urged Scots to vote “no” in today’s referendum on Scottish independence.

Bradford, KR, Sep 18 · Hur 3 – As Scotland goes to the polls to decide its fate in today’s independence referendum, the Government has formally come out on the No side, asking Scots to retain the union it has been part of for over three centuries.

More than 4.2 million Scots have begun making their way to polling booths across the nation this evening to decide if Scotland will end its 307-year union with England that began in 1707.

Polls have put the No vote only narrowly ahead of Yes, with No ahead at between 51 and 53 per cent. Despite the lead, the vote is anything but certain, with some nine per cent of voters still unsure as to which way they will cast their ballot.

The results of the referendum will begin to arrive from mid-morning Eastern time tomorrow.

If Scotland votes Yes, the clock will begin ticking for independence in March 2016. If No, the three main political parties in Britain have promised increased devolution to hand more power to the Scottish parliament.

The referendum has nearly torn Scotland asunder, with heated debates nearly turning violent in some places. The Yes campaign in particular has been accused of dirty tactics, with Union supporters suffering increasing harassment as the campaign has progressed.

Scotland is not the only place where the independence issue has stirred debate. Within the MicroWiki community, sides have appeared with several nations and politicians making their stance clear.

James von Puchow, Sebastian Linden, and Ciprian I, heads of Landashir, Rudno, and Juclandia, respectively, have all come out in favour of Scottish independence, with von Puchow and Linden having been especially vocal for some months. All three claim that Scotland will be better off after independence, and that the British government at Westminster has proven itself too disinterested in Scotland to be worth retaining.

On the other side, however, the Siroccan Government this afternoon came out in support of the Union, publishing a poster asking Scots to retain the Union or “risk stepping into the unknown.”

St.Charlian President Alexander Reinhardt, while officially toeing his government’s line of official neutrality, has taken a dim view of Scottish independence, and has quietly put his backing behind a continuation of the union.

This puts him personally at odds with his Prime Minister, Alex Specter, who is a strong supporter of Scottish independence and who has said that given the chance, he would vote Yes.

Similarly in Austenasia, Emperor Jonathan, while not able to make judgment in his official capacity, has said to the Times that he is personally against independence.

A case for neutrality is also being made by a number of micronationalists, including King Adam of Überstadt, who has said that while he supports the principle, he does not “consider it utilitarian.”

Leave a comment

Bureaucracy expands in Sirocco with passing of Legislative Codes Act

CODED: Date-based identification codes will now be affixed to all Acts of Government following today’s passing of the Legislative Codes Act 2014.
Source: eBay

Bradford, KR, Aug 27/12 Bak – All acts passed by Government will be affixed with date codes following the passing of the Legislative Codes Act 2014 in another step forward for Siroccan bureaucracy.

The Act, which will officially come into force on September 7 (23 Baker) requires every piece of legislation passed to bear a long code based on the Gregorian and Atomic date of its ratification.

For example, the Act, which bears the code “14-08.4 (69/0212-1)” is identified as being the fourth piece of legislation passed in 2014 (14-08.4), having done so in August (14-08.4); while being the first piece of legislation passed in the Atomic year 69 (69/0212-1), having done so on 12 Baker 69 (69/0212-1).

Of curious note is the presence of the Atomic year rendered with three digits. According to Section 2.4 of the Act, this is to eliminate the risk of codes “rolling over” after 31 Julin 99, instead deferring the “roll-over” until 1 Trinity 1000, a date which in the Gregorian calendar corresponds to 16 July 2945.

All acts already passed by the Government will also be affixed with a retroactive date corresponding to their ratification date, with codes issued for acts going back to September 2010 (Baker 65).

Editor’s note: As per the Gazetting Act 2014, the Times is required to announce the passing of all Siroccan legislation.

1 Comment

Sandus disrespecting micronational norms, say community

BACKLASH: Micronations across the community have been busy penning strong reactions to the Denton Protocol as an air of hostility to the document grows.

BACKLASH: Micronations across the community have been busy penning strong reactions to the Denton Protocol as an air of hostility to the document grows. (Photo: Tack-O-Rama)

Bradford, KR, Aug 1 – Sandus has been slammed by micronationalists across the MicroWiki community today for not adhering to micronational privacy agreements as the scandal surrounding the Denton Protocol continues to grow.

The Denton Protocol, established in a joint effort by Sandus and Zealandia this week, aims to provide solidarity for LGBT micronationalists and a way for said micronationalists to “unite” on matters relating to LGBT affairs.

However this agreement has come under heavy fire over the last two days, with anger directed at Article 3, which states that “should any no-signatory to this protocol refuse to respect the gender identity of another official whose government is a signatory to this protocol, the signatory government may refuse to use and communicate preferred names, styles of address, and titles of the violating official.”

In short, any nation that does not recognise a foreign official’s gender identity will not have its own names honoured by the latter party’s nation.

The article has been accused of flouting the long-standing agreement amongst MicroWiki micronationalists to only utilise micronational pseudonyms if requested that they be used.

Sandum leader William Sörgel has also been targeted after the publication of an article in Veritum Sandus, where Wyvernian Duke Bradley was identified by his macronational name.

Two requests to the newspaper to have the Duke’s name amended were refused, with Sörgel this morning stating that the publication “falls within the press freedoms of Veritum Sandus – per our national laws – to follow the strict example of the Protocol.”

However this explanation has not been accepted by a number of micronationalists, many of whom use pseudonyms of their own, and it has left an especially bitter taste in Duke Bradley’s mouth.

The Duke has criticised it as an “attempt at pressuring their ideas upon everybody else”, and has called it a case of double standards.

Eren Lewis claimed that the Protocol “is not to safeguard the rights of trans people in the community, but be used a tool of control”, while Ashukov Prime Minister Joseph Kennedy has called the document possibly “the most disgusting thing I have ever read.”

Lord Spiritual of Mercia, Richard I, expressed his surprise at Sandus “[running] the LGBTQ+ Gestapo”, and noted that “Gender pronouns are one thing, but risking the macronational political career of one of our members is an atrocity.”

Lostislandic leader Yaroslav Mar said to the Times that he “used to think that [Sörgel] had at least some micronational professionalism and human decency”, but that the publication of the Prince’s name “showed the true nature of Mr. Soergel – that of a blackmailer who respects nobody but himself.”

The USLSSR leader Alex Whitmarsh’s acerbic sarcasm was also on display this evening, with Whitmarsh saying that “It’s not like [Sörgel] has an ego problem … [he] has almost no problems in life, so [he] goes looking for other people’s to try and solve them.”

Whitmarsh backed up his comments, saying that “I’m sure he’ll attempt to ruin my life over some crap because his milk mainly went to the right of his bowl today when he had his cereal.” He then accused Sörgel of “sitting in his ivory tower of ‘being a pretentious prick'”.

Premier Daniel Anderson, one such pseudonym-bearing micronationalist, has joined the growing list of micronational leaders and members attacking the document, claiming it disrespects micronational naming protocols and breaking one of the fundamental rules of the community.

“For years, we have had an understanding in this community that if a member chooses to use a pseudonym, they are free to do so and will be addressed by it.” Anderson said in a press statement in the New Zealand city of Tauranga this evening.

“Sandus and its Red media have shown time and time again that they pay no attention to the views of the community, but to go as far as to publish a micronationalist’s birth name is utterly reprehensible.”

“Every person in this community has the right to choose how they wish to be identified, and for Sandus to go against this after being so vocal in allowing people to state their identities is disgraceful.”

“We stand by Duke Bradley and his right to a pseudonym, as well as all other members of this community who, for one reason or another, choose not to use their birth names for micronational affairs.”

Anderson has previously had his macronational name published in Veritum Sandus, but it was amended at his request a short time later.

Sirocco has a number of citizens who go by dual names, many of whom were asked to choose an alias when signing on with the country in late 2010. While it was policy at the time for new citizens to adopt an alias, this was relaxed in late 2012 as sign-ons slowed.

Meanwhile there are signs that one of the major signatories of the Protocol is looking to break away from it before the ink has dried.

Telegraph reports received this evening have stated that Zealandia is to withdraw from the Protocol, but at this time it is still uncertain whether such an action will be taken.

Links to the offending article have been removed from the front page of MicroWiki, and administration staff are busy discussing if any further action is to be taken.

Two polls out this evening appear to back up the community’s opinion on the matter. A Times poll asking “Do you believe that the Denton Protocol has had a negative impact on the community” had a 8-2 yes-no margin at 10:20 Eastern time this evening, while a separate poll asking whether respondents supported all the provisions of the Protocol has so far seen a 0-11 yes-no vote.

It is not the first time that Sandus has come under fire for its choice of naming conventions. Its long-running usage of the address “M.”, derived from the French monsieur, has rankled some, including Anderson, Duke Bradley, and Mar.

The Veritum Sandus has explained this as arising from “their hatred of French culture or their dislike for the Grand Unified Micronational”, while Anderson has countered this as “bunk”.

Editor’s note: It is the policy of the Sirocco Times to refer to micronationalists by their chosen name, be this a pseudonym or otherwise. While this also adheres to Siroccan privacy laws, we believe that it is in the interests of both the Times and its readers that the correct names be used at all times, so as to maintain journalistic integrity and accuracy, and ensure that the privacy of any persons mentioned in the Times is maintained. As such, we have declined to reproduce Prince Bradley of Dullahan’s macronational name, to ensure that his macronational and micronational identities are kept separate from one another and to honour his request that his alias be used for all micronational affairs.


Rise of Communist micronation threatens Siroccan territories

RED NEIGHBOURS: The appearance of the Communist nation of Otautahi has alarmed the Siroccan government, which holds territory claimed by the new country.

Bradford, KR, Jul 6 – The Siroccan government is tonight deciding how to deal with the emergence of a Communist micronation in the New Zealand city of Christchurch that has claimed a number of Siroccan territories.

The nation of Otautahi, derived from the Maori name for Christchurch, was founded on July 4 by James Davies and friend James McIlhone, who promptly claimed sovereignty over the whole of Christchurch, which includes the Siroccan territories of Greater Hagley, Maxia, Sandford and Trinity.

News reached Bradford this evening of the new nation’s foundation and its claims, and already those in government are nervously planning their next moves.

The news is a humiliating blow for Premier Daniel Anderson and the Federal Party, who have prided themselves on protecting New Zealand from Communist influence for some time, and must now deal with Communist neighbours not far from Sirocco’s own territories.

While the location of the main operating centre of Otautahi has not yet been ascertained, any claim within Christchurch puts it extremely close to the territory of Greater Hagley, as well as the outlying territories of Maxia, Sandford and Trinity.

In a statement released a short time ago, the Premier said he was “horrified” at the emergence of a Communist micronation with New Zealand, and pledged “strong action to keep our rightful lands safe”.

“This is a slap in the face to all of Sirocco, and we will not sit idly by and let Reds run riot near our borders. We take this threat extremely seriously, and we are not ruling out stronger action if they force our hand.”

“Our message to the besieged people of Greater Hagley, Sandford, Maxia and Trinity is that we have not abandoned you. These Communists have caught us off-guard, but we will not let these vile aggressors threaten you. The Federal Party stands with you, the Government stands with you, and the whole of Sirocco stands with you. The Communists were not able to take Berlin in 1948, and they will not be able to take Sirocco in 2014. We will get you through this.”

Anderson also noted the irony of a Communist nation boasting a Mercedes-Benz 300-SL as part of its military.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has confirmed it has sent a request to the leadership to scale back its claims, mainly to give Sirocco’s territories ample breathing room.

The national NOWAA scale (Normal, Observe, Warning, Alert and Attack) has been raised from 5 to 2, with the Siroccan Defence Forces in both the region of Lindström and Bradford preparing themselves for the possibility of a Red assault.

No word has been received from Otautahi at the time of publishing.

Leave a comment

Micro High movie proves hit for SBC

GRAND FINALE: The Micro High Cinematic Televised Movie Thing follows the gang as they head out into the adult world and brush up against some old adversaries.

GRAND FINALE: The Micro High Cinematic Televised Movie Thing follows the gang as they head out into the adult world and brush up against some old adversaries.

Bradford, KR, Apr 1 – Fans of hit cartoon series Micro High were not left disappointed this morning with the midnight premiere of its long-awaited film adaptation, with many who attended the event lauding the experience as fitting for the spirit of the show.

The Micro High Cinematic Televised Movie Thing made its debut at 12:01 this morning at Bradford’s Ilaf Theatre to a large crowd of moviegoers, all of whom were eager to see the film that has been promised since April last year.

The movie focuses on the cast of the show in their first year away from school as they try and make their way in the world, only to come up against their nemeses from the Wikia Academy for Numpty Kids (W.A.N.K.) who have old scores to settle.

Movie critic Edsel Pinto praised the movie as “a rollickingly good laugh almost indistinguishable from the television series”, noting that “the direction and scripting is second-to-none, and I dare say it eclipses even the most hilarious moments we saw on the box”.

The movie was produced by animation studio Fern Tree and funded by the Siroccan Broadcasting Corporation, who in a statement said it was “great to bring back the show so many people loved”.

Animation for the film was done via cartoon software UIdio.t, which gave the cast slightly different appearances from the Xtranormal days. Despite some reservations from test audiences, Fern Tree defended the decision, saying that it allowed the characters more freedom of movement as well as a range of costumes and movements not available with Xtranormal, as well as full 1080p High Definition output.

The film had been slated to be given an R16 rating, but editing and negotiations saw this lowered to a 14 rating, making it more accessible for the show’s fans.

The Micro High Cinematic Televised Movie Thing is scheduled for international release in Zealandia and Wyvern tomorrow; St.Charlie, Erephisia, Austenasia and Juclandia on Saturday and the wider micronational community next week.

Dates for the television, Blu-ray, DVD, VHS and Betamax releases of the film have not yet been confirmed by the SBC.

Leave a comment

Government warns of Communist subversion in Auckland

RED THREAT: Government departments have been spending the week charting and analysing Communist propaganda in and around central Auckland in order to determine the risk to the Siroccan state. Photo courtesy Wikipedia.

Bradford, KR, Mar 7 – The Government has this afternoon warned of the presence of subversive Communist elements in central Auckland, causing concern in Sirocco’s territories in the region.

In a press conference this afternoon, Premier Daniel Anderson revealed that since Tuesday, a number of government departments and private enterprises, including the Ministry of Defence, the Departments of Land Information, Internal Affairs, and Public Safety, and the Institute of Scientific Research, have been examining and documenting Communist propaganda surrounding the University of Auckland’s City campus.

The propaganda, pictures of which the Times has declined to reproduce in the interests of public safety, contained excerpts from the Communist manifesto, information on Leftist ideologies, and pieces critical of capitalist economies, Anderson said.

The posters also urged interested parties to attend meetings and lectures designed for the dissemination of Communist ideas.

One poster contained explanations of Marxist Communism overlayed atop a street sign, slammed by Anderson as “a brazen insult to our nation”.

In a report prepared by the Ministry of Defence, which oversaw the operation, the propaganda is said to be “of a concerning nature”, but concedes that “[the] Communist publications…pose little immediate risk to the State or its government in Kinross, however steps should be taken to fortify the Auckland provinces and dependencies to ensure that these posters will not promote restlessness.”

Anderson assured citizens that the Government would be taking all necessary steps to further strengthen defences in Kinross, Wellesley, Hobson, Watchman Island and Blacksands.

“We take the security of this nation very seriously, and all Siroccans can rest easy knowing that we will be doing all we must to ensure this disturbing new discovery does not lead to the downfall of our nation.”

The discovery of the publications comes in stark contrast to the report of last week’s Lunn Expedition, which determined the absence of Communist activities in and around Kinross province, and is likely to further the Government’s anti-Communist rhetoric, which has increased in strength and vigour in recent months.

%d bloggers like this: